I sought the Lord, and He answered me;
He delivered me from all my fears.
Verbal abuse causes you to live in fear - wondering what's gonna happen next, waiting for that pen to drop, walking on egg shells, but God didn't give us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). After my abuser wined and dined me and reeled me in, then we moved in together. As soon as that door closed, they knew they had me and verbal abuse came - I was told I was stupid every day, that nobody else would ever want me, that I would never amount to anything, that I could never make it on my own, they would curse and scream at me ... it literally destroyed my soul. Separated me from my family, my friends, all to try keep me dependent on them.
Some say there's no harm in verbal abuse. I disagree. Being barked at and screamed at all day long removes the peace from the home, removes the unity and you get to where you can't make decisions on your own. An abuser is all about control, and God wants us to be led by Him, not some abuser.
We ought to obey God rather than men. Acts 5:2
Physical abuse came later - throwing chairs, raping me and laughing while I cried, beating my head against the wall dozens of times during each episode, beating me repeatedly in the kidneys, telling me how to dress and what to do, would hit me over the head with a cast iron skillet if I didn't put my clothes in the hamper, would take me on suicide rides in the car and try to kill us, would sit me in a corner and throw knives at me, would push me out of the bed after we had had sex because they didn't want to sleep with me, would throw me out of the car and leave me, one time they let me out with some friends of theirs on the side of the road and then told them to gang rape me. They ran me and my mother off the road (we were all in separate cars) and at my mothers once they broke in to try to pull me out of the house.
Know that forced sex, whether you are married or not, is rape. We aren't a toilet or a possession of theirs, we're children of God and His temple.
Once God removed them from my life (I finally defended myself and then hi-tailed it out and never looked back) I didn't see them for another 10 years or so, and that was just in passing. God protected me ... because IT WAS TIME and He said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. All their threats to kill me and my family were hogwash. Not that it always is, but when He says go or kick em out - do it. My experience has been that eventually the Lord removes one or the other cause He doesn't want to see us suffer. He says in His Word that He'll only allow the innocent to be taken advantage of for so long. Anyway, as you can imagine, I don't have a lot of sympathy for abusers, verbal or anything else. FYI - 9 out of 10 verbal leads to physical.
But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from Me. I, the Lord, have spoken. Isaiah 54:17
Sad to say, so many people (including some ministers) say that we should stay with our abusers, try to make it work, win them over with love, and pray for them. Oh, please. Let those people advising that try living in an abusive situation like getting their face bashed in or demeaning them all day long and then see if they counsel, 'just pray'. Without God, an abuser will NEVER change. No matter how many times they tell you they're sorry or that they'll change or buy you things, it just ain't happening without God. Get out people. Set aside money, prepare a 'to go' bag with important papers, find a 'safe house' and ... get out. Let God fix them, while you're safe somewhere else. When you get out, don't look back or reminisce about the handful of good times ya'll may've had. One hit in the whole time ya'll were together is enough reason to never go back. Cut them soul ties.
Trust God, He has your best interests at heart.
You don't have to be afraid anymore, you'll find out the truth and it'll set you free.
Prayer: Father, I plead the Blood of Jesus Christ over us. Protect us. Lead us. Guide us. Tell us what to do and show us which way to go. Give us a way out. Help us not to look back or go back. Heal our hearts. Love on us. Fill the voids. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because
you are faithful and righteous.
2 Don’t put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you.
3 My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in
darkness like those in the grave.
4 I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear.
5 I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and
think about what you have done.
6 I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.
7 Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me, or I will die.
8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me.
10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.
11 For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.
Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
12 In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
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