For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. Malachi 2:16
Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Colossians 3:19
You've probably heard more times than you've wanted to that God hates divorce. But did you know that God ALSO hates abuse? Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) and we are to take care of and protect them. The Word also says to guard our heart with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23).
The Lord has delivered me from many abusive relationships, including the last one which was a verbal, mental, emotional, physical & sexual abusive relationship that lasted 10 yrs. - He can do it for you, too. I always felt like when I had chairs or knives or fists or hateful words thrown at me that when I called on Jesus He heard me but didn't do anything - but He did - I'm still here. The enemy and all my abusers have lost their power over me because of Christ's love for me and His Blood that covers me. If you're still around, you're a fighter and a survivor, too.
We are to be controlled and led by the Holy Spirit, not man. We should never submit to man to the point of sin (whether or not they are our husband, parent, or leader). It's better to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). Sad to say, so often out of fear or people pleasing (not wanting to offend), we obey man. Be obedient to the voice of the Lord and instead of being afraid of repercussions or retaliation, trust God for the outcome. Go to God for wisdom and the final say so regarding your relationships - not your friends. Friends can listen, support and advise but don't know what's best for you - only God does.
Without a radical moving and healing from God, an abuser will NEVER EVER change - even if they cry, beg or give gifts - DON'T fall for the lies. Men who abuse women are so chicken and so weak and what happened in their past is NO excuse or reason to do it. They think it makes them feel like a man and they need a mother figure to slave for them that they can control. They also want to have their own personal 'sex slave'. Abusers gain control through brainwashing and fear tactics (like I'll kill you or your family, you can't make it without me, nobody else would want you, or you don't have any money). That and the involvement of children is why some choose to stay anyway.
If someone yells at you, controls you, hits you and separates you from friends and family - you're being abused - pray for a way out and get out. Respect yourself and Christ in you enough to not allow others to abuse and belittle you. Don't allow others to take advantage of and mistreat you because of their position and power. 1 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be unequally yoked. God HATES abuse and DOESN'T want you to live in an abusive situation. You ARE NOT your abuser's savior. You can't fix them, change them, or save them. Jesus should be your Lord (there's only 1 God, 1 Lord, 1 Savior), not a man. 1 Corinthians 7:16 says, 'Wife, how can you be sure of converting and saving your husband? Husband, how can you be sure of converting and saving your wife?' DON'T be deceived into thinking you have to stay with your abuser to keep them from suicide, it's not your responsibility. DON'T worry about 'what ifs'. DON'T stay for the children, the abuser will probably abuse them whether you're there or not. Take you and them to a safe house. (SafeHouseCenter.org 24/7 Helpline: (734) 995-5444). Pray and let God do the work.
Our worth is found in God, not in how people treat us. DON'T define yourself by how you are being treated by an abuser. You ARE NOT a punching bag. You ARE a child of the Most High God. You ARE special in God's sight. You ARE valuable. You ARE loved. You ARE accepted.
God has a GOOD plan for our lives. The Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Allow Christ's unfailing love to sustain you. You CAN live without your abuser. You CAN have friends that aren't tied to your abuser. You ARE NOT crazy, stupid, or unwanted. You CAN make it on your own - dependent on GOD. You WILL and DO amount to something. You CAN make good decisions on your own - with God's help. You ARE strong enough - God gives you the strength. God DOES hear your cries for help.
It should also be noted that it's a misdemeanor to know that a crime (like abuse) is being committed and not report it. It's a felony to commit abuse - whether they are your spouse or not. It's a felony to commit rape - whether they are your spouse or not. Be a listening ear to those in crisis situations, they don't need your judgment.
Being abused? GET OUT and call 911 - and DON'T let fear and threats talk you out of pressing charges. We won't think less of you, instead we'll be proud of you. If you're being abused, get out and don't look back.
Prayer: Father, I pray that You stop the cycle of abuse across this land. We curse ungodly soul ties in our lives and pray for deliverance from abuse and help us not to return to toxic relationships once we've been delivered. Help us to treat each other with love and respect. Help those of us being abused to get help. Protect us from further harm, Lord. Heal our hearts, minister to those places where we have withdrawn and retreated to in order to protect ourselves. Love on us. Help us to put down the old ways of thinking and doing and begin to trust You enough to do a new thing in us. We will press through. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Helpful Scripture
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] John 16:33
If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31
Greater is Jesus in us than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4God will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to Him. Ps 72:14
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24
NO weapon trying to form against us is gonna prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
JESUS is our Husband; He removes our shame: Is 54 http://bit.ly/gdamZG
Helpful Numbers & Websites
If you have been or are being abused now, GET HELP NOW - call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org) 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Signs of Abusive Men http://eshanya.webs.com/signsofabusivemen.htm
Male Victims of Domestic Abuse http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/malevictims.shtml
Power & Control Tactics Used in Same-Sex Relationships http://bit.ly/l6n4OR
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Safety Plan' http://bit.ly/a3LWvg
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Protecting Your Identity' http://bit.ly/dD6a7h National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Internet Safety' http://bit.ly/aVhr3X
See related post: Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker! http://bit.ly/ihCXye