Most Have Had a Hard Life

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other greater commandment than these. Mark 12:30,31

You are a LOT stronger, a LOT smarter and MORE beautiful than you think you are. Do not settle for less than. Do not be gullible or allow people to take advantage of you.

STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN. You are special. You are valuable. And God certainly doesn't make junk. I used to think so little of myself that I would put myself down before others got the chance to hurt me. I reinforced low self-esteem. I did not need any help. When my abuser came along, they did not have to knock me down, I already was down and they fed on that and took advantage. Things others had spoken over me, I spoke over me and the enemy whispered to me sucked me into a 10 year relationship hell. Know that most of the time they at first say and do all the right things and once you are hooked then they turn into someone you do not even recognize anymore.

ABUSERS FEED OFF OF VULNERABILITY AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM. It is better to be alone, I promise, I know. Abuse can be mental, physical, neglect, etc. Abusers do not change. They progressively get worse. And they will separate you from friends, family anyone who cares or could help. Control, intimidation, domination and manipulation are tools of the devil and are used in witchcraft to lead you away from God. FOLLOW GOD and His Way only, all other ways lead to destruction.

ABUSE IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE SILENT

GET HELP NOW
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−SAFE http://www.thehotline.org

Thank God for His mercy and grace. I found freedom when He met me in my mess and shared with me from the Word who I am IN HIM. There REALLY IS life after abuse. Hold your head high. Shake off the shame. Jesus says YOU ARE WORTHY. If you are being abused, get help. If you are headed down that road thru low self-esteem, run the opposite direction and let the love of God set you free. You were made in Gods image, to bring Him glory. Be a slave to NO OTHER.

MOST OF US HAVE HAD A HARD LIFE. Being hurt is NO EXCUSE or REASON to hurt and abuse us. Those who abuse need to get over it, man up, and do the right thing. Treat each other with love and respect.

Father, help us to see ourselves as You see us. Help us to be able to face ourselves, live with ourselves, and love ourselves in a healthy way. Help us to have healthy relationships and remove us from those that are unhealthy. Protect us from all harm. Cover us with Your Blood, Lord Jesus. We pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.

Related blog entries of mine:

 

Do You Hate Yourself? (part of my story)

Don't Look Back - Enough is Enough (part of my story)

There's Power in Knowing Who You are in Christ

 

 

 

Bad Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do

Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in bondage again to fear; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. Romans 8:14-17

Why do beautiful and precious women think they have to settle for rough, ugly and/or controlling guys that treat them bad? And if they're good looking but treat you bad, that makes them ugly, too. Choosing a bad boy usually comes with a lifetime of regrets. A bad boy and his actions ARE NOT attractive nor exciting. They are destructive. Don't be seduced into the web of the enemy, thinking you have to settle for less than what you want from a partner. Ladies, you're worth SO MUCH MORE than that. RESPECT yourself.

And oh my, PLEASE don't be with a creep just to get out of the house or to punish your parents/family. It’s not worth it to get sucked into a life of hell on earth with the wrong person just to fit in, or get out, or to have a ride, or get back at people. Trust me, you WILL NOT have it easier once you get out. As a matter of fact, it will be harder because you not only have been separated from your family and support system, but are now responsible for running a house, getting and holding a job, and catering to every whim of a man who probably never loved you in the first place and who will treat you horribly despite you doing everything in your power the right way.

There are many men who are on the prowl, looking for a nice, vulnerable woman to take advantage of. They can tell when you are insecure with who you are and who will probably put up with their actions ... one who will do anything for them, despite how they are treated. Someone with low self-esteem is very attractive to them. These guys are usually sweet talkers in the beginning to lure you in and once you’ve formed an attachment to them, usually by sharing intimate things in your life (see more about soul ties here Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker) then they start abusing you, telling you who you can and cannot see and possibly hitting you. They'll flirt with others but tell you that you can't, not call before coming over, lie, hit on your friends in front of you, etc. These are UNACCEPTABLE actions ladies.

You ARE NOT responsible for babysitting men, for being their mother, for being their slave and/or sex slave, or to rescue them from life or themselves. These 'boys' need to grow up and be a man. Learn how to treat a woman right. Learn how to take care of themselves. Learn how to live within the letter of the laws of God and of man. Instead of rebelling against God and running from Him and anything else that's good and right. Bad boys DO NOT really have confidence, and ARE NOT exciting, they are really insecure and that's why they hurry to attach to those who are vulnerable, ones that they hope will fill the void and make them stop being afraid, i.e. another mommy. They only get more angry though, because it doesn't work. Deep down they are broken little boys who need to control and bed women to try to feel better about themselves. That broken boy CAN NOT be rescued or fixed by you. HE WON'T change as long as he's clinging on to you. Only Jesus and hard work on the part of the boy/man can fix them. You ARE NOT anyone's savior. Let them change their own diapers and hold his own pacifier. Try working on yourself instead. A better you will automatically attract a better him.

The better you feel about yourself, the less you will allow people in your life that treat you wrong. Low self-esteem will cause us to settle with far less than God's best. If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate who communicates both verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. She won't allow this other person to undermine her positive self-worth. She believes in her ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship. If she doesn't feel good about herself, she chooses someone who reinforces her negative self-beliefs.

These men are just distractions sent by the enemy to try to keep God’s will from coming to pass in your life. You're not a doormat, punching bag, a dog or a trophy ... if you belong to Jesus, you are a child of God. There's NEVER a good reason to put up with abuse. HIT THE DOOR running if you're not treated with love and respect. REGARDLESS of how good looking or hot he may be in your eyes. Your dreamboat is dangerous. Do it NOW before it goes any further.

God has called us to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15

Hold your head high, guard your heart and wait for GOD'S best for you.

Father, I pray that You place a hedge of protection around us and our hearts, that we not get caught up in the traps of the enemy. Choose a partner for us IF You have one and help us to wait on You. If we are to be single to serve You wholeheartedly, help us to be and stay devoted to You. If there are any that have already been trapped by the enemy's lies and webs, release them from that bondage. Give them boldness to get away and help them to stay away. In the name of Jesus, amen.

+ + + + + +

If you are being abused GET HELP NOW call

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE

http://www.thehotline.org
or
National Dating Abuse Hotline
1-866-331-9474
http://www.loveisrespect.org
+ + + + + +
 

see also:  Keep it Zipped            Do You Hate Yourself?            Don't Look Back (my story)

Has Today Been a Hard Day?

Don't be afraid. I am with you. Don't tremble with fear. I am your God. I will make you strong, as I protect you with My arm and give you victories. Everyone who hates you will be disgraced; those who attack will vanish into thin air. You will look around for those brutal enemies, but you won't find them because they will be gone. I am the Lord your God. I am holding your hand, so don't be afraid. I am here to help you. Isaiah 41:10-13

For whatever you're going through right now, know that your friend Jesus is ever near and is leading and guiding you. You’re not in the boat alone, He’s in it with you. The voice that calmed the raging sea is calling you His child, so be still and know He's in control, He'll NEVER let you go.

For those who struggle with cutting or other forms of self-harm ... kneel before God and scream out the pain before Him and release the pain and frustrations to Him.

For those who suffer with depression and thoughts of suicide … life IS worth living, whether you feel like it is right now or not. DON’T listen to voices in your head trying to tell you otherwise.

For those suffering with addictions … may God give you grace to say no, lead you not into temptation and help you to replace addictions that aren’t good for you with other things and habits that are safe and godly.

For those in abusive relationships … God hates abuse, you’re His child and He wants NO harm to come near you (you are His temple) or your dwelling and He’s committed to take care of you. Pray for God’s will about how and when to leave abusive relationships. You can't save that person hurting you and you can't change them. Don't stay for the kids, they are in jeopardy of being hurt right where they are.

 

For those who have been raped ... it WAS NOT your fault. You are valued and loved, regardless of what happened to you. FYI - if your husband forced you against your will to have sex, that's rape, too.

For those who are pregnant … you have options. Contact a local pregnancy care center that will share the truth in love about options that will help you choose life.

For those who have had an abortion … there is healing for your empty arms at the feet of Jesus. May He hold you and fill the voids.

For those who need wisdom and direction ... seek God. Read and meditate on His Word. Ask for wisdom and direction and when you hear from Him (and you will, for you DO know His voice) do as He asks. For He has a good plan for your life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Helpful numbers and websites:

S.A.F.E. Alternatives self-injury hotline 1-800-DONT-CUT http://www.selfinjury.com
National Suicide (Self-Harm) Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
National Hopeline Network 1-800-442-HOPE http://www.hopeline.com
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE http://www.thehotline.org
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE http://www.rainn.org
National Runaway Safeline 1-800-RUNAWAY http://www.1800runaway.org
National Eating Disorders Helpline 1-800-931-2237 http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
Option Line (for those who are pregnant) 1-800-395-HELP http://www.optionline.org
The National Helpline for Abortion Recovery 1-866-482-LIFE http://www.nationalhelpline.org

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

I'm so sorry that others have judged you. I never will, 'cause I've got my own struggles and pains ... NO ONE is perfect.

It doesn't matter who you are, or what you've done ... God loves YOU. Jesus doesn't merely like you when you do well; He's personally and passionately committed to your good, even when you fail. God is love and He deeply, stubbornly and eternally insists on loving EVERY individual. Relax in the LOVE that CHRIST has for YOU.

Even if you don't believe that others care, know that JESUS cares about you personally, He knows you by name. Keep PRESSIN' IN to Him, He's NOT going to hurt you like others have, He CAN be trusted.

The arms that hold the universe are holding you, it's gonna be alright.

Father, thank You that even though we’ve made mistakes and feel like we’ve missed the best life that You had for us, help us to know that it’s not too late to begin again. Like a child following in the footsteps of a strong father, help us to follow Your footsteps, wherever they may go. In Jesus’ name, amen.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

See also:

God HATES Abuse - So Stop Being a Martyr and Let Go http://answerfortheailing.blogspot.com/2011/05/god-hates-abuse-so-stop-being-martyr.html
Don't You Dare http://answerfortheailing.blogspot.com/2013/02/dont-you-dare.html
Don't Self-Harm Because of a Relationship http://answerfortheailing.blogspot.com/2012/08/dont-self-harm-because-of-relationship.html
Do You Hate Yourself? http://answerfortheailing.blogspot.com/2010/05/do-you-hate-yourself.html
Signs of Abusive Men http://eshanya.webs.com/signsofabusivemen.htm

Don't Look Back - Enough is Enough!

 
  I sought the Lord, and He answered me;
  He delivered me from all my fears.
  Psalm 34:4





Verbal abuse causes you to live in fear - wondering what's gonna happen next, waiting for that pen to drop, walking on egg shells, but God didn't give us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). After my abuser wined and dined me and reeled me in, then we moved in together. As soon as that door closed, they knew they had me and verbal abuse came - I was told I was stupid every day, that nobody else would ever want me, that I would never amount to anything, that I could never make it on my own, they would curse and scream at me ... it literally destroyed my soul. Separated me from my family, my friends, all to try keep me dependent on them.

Some say there's no harm in verbal abuse. I disagree. Being barked at and screamed at all day long removes the peace from the home, removes the unity and you get to where you can't make decisions on your own. An abuser is all about control, and God wants us to be led by Him, not some abuser.

We ought to obey God rather than men. Acts 5:2

Physical abuse came later - throwing chairs, raping me and laughing while I cried, beating my head against the wall dozens of times during each episode, beating me repeatedly in the kidneys, telling me how to dress and what to do, would hit me over the head with a cast iron skillet if I didn't put my clothes in the hamper, would take me on suicide rides in the car and try to kill us, would sit me in a corner and throw knives at me, would push me out of the bed after we had had sex because they didn't want to sleep with me, would throw me out of the car and leave me, one time they let me out with some friends of theirs on the side of the road and then told them to gang rape me. They ran me and my mother off the road (we were all in separate cars) and at my mothers once they broke in to try to pull me out of the house.

Know that forced sex, whether you are married or not, is rape. We aren't a toilet or a possession of theirs, we're children of God and His temple.

Once God removed them from my life (I finally defended myself and then hi-tailed it out and never looked back) I didn't see them for another 10 years or so, and that was just in passing. God protected me ... because IT WAS TIME and He said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. All their threats to kill me and my family were hogwash. Not that it always is, but when He says go or kick em out - do it. My experience has been that eventually the Lord removes one or the other cause He doesn't want to see us suffer. He says in His Word that He'll only allow the innocent to be taken advantage of for so long. Anyway, as you can imagine, I don't have a lot of sympathy for abusers, verbal or anything else. FYI - 9 out of 10 verbal leads to physical.

But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from Me. I, the Lord, have spoken. Isaiah 54:17

Sad to say, so many people (including some ministers) say that we should stay with our abusers, try to make it work, win them over with love, and pray for them. Oh, please. Let those people advising that try living in an abusive situation like getting their face bashed in or demeaning them all day long and then see if they counsel, 'just pray'. Without God, an abuser will NEVER change. No matter how many times they tell you they're sorry or that they'll change or buy you things, it just ain't happening without God. Get out people. Set aside money, prepare a 'to go' bag with important papers, find a 'safe house' and ... get out. Let God fix them, while you're safe somewhere else. When you get out, don't look back or reminisce about the handful of good times ya'll may've had. One hit in the whole time ya'll were together is enough reason to never go back. Cut them soul ties.

Trust God, He has your best interests at heart.

You don't have to be afraid anymore, you'll find out the truth and it'll set you free.

Prayer: Father, I plead the Blood of Jesus Christ over us. Protect us. Lead us. Guide us. Tell us what to do and show us which way to go. Give us a way out. Help us not to look back or go back. Heal our hearts. Love on us. Fill the voids. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Psalm 143

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because

you are faithful and righteous.

2 Don’t put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you.

3 My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in

 darkness like those in the grave.

4 I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear.

5 I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and

think about what you have done.

6 I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

7 Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens.

Don’t turn away from me, or I will die.

8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you.

Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.

9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me.

10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.

May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.

11 For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.

Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.

12 In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes,

for I am your servant.

See also

Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker!

God HATES Abuse - So Stop Being a Martyr & Let Go

 

__________________________________

The National Domestic  Violence Hotline

1 (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or 1 (800) 787-3224 (TTY)

Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7

http://www.thehotline.org/

God HATES Abuse - So Stop Being a Martyr & Let Go

For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. Malachi 2:16
Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Colossians 3:19




You've probably heard more times than you've wanted to that God hates divorce. But did you know that God ALSO hates abuse? Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) and we are to take care of and protect them. The Word also says to guard our heart with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23).

The Lord has delivered me from many abusive relationships, including the last one which was a verbal, mental, emotional, physical & sexual abusive relationship that lasted 10 yrs. - He can do it for you, too. I always felt like when I had chairs or knives or fists or hateful words thrown at me that when I called on Jesus He heard me but didn't do anything - but He did - I'm still here. The enemy and all my abusers have lost their power over me because of Christ's love for me and His Blood that covers me. If you're still around, you're a fighter and a survivor, too.

We are to be controlled and led by the Holy Spirit, not man. We should never submit to man to the point of sin (whether or not they are our husband, parent, or leader). It's better to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). Sad to say, so often out of fear or people pleasing (not wanting to offend), we obey man. Be obedient to the voice of the Lord and instead of being afraid of repercussions or retaliation, trust God for the outcome. Go to God for wisdom and the final say so regarding your relationships - not your friends. Friends can listen, support and advise but don't know what's best for you - only God does.

Without a radical moving and healing from God, an abuser will NEVER EVER change - even if they cry, beg or give gifts - DON'T fall for the lies. Men who abuse women are so chicken and so weak and what happened in their past is NO excuse or reason to do it. They think it makes them feel like a man and they need a mother figure to slave for them that they can control. They also want to have their own personal 'sex slave'. Abusers gain control through brainwashing and fear tactics (like I'll kill you or your family, you can't make it without me, nobody else would want you, or you don't have any money). That and the involvement of children is why some choose to stay anyway.

If someone yells at you, controls you, hits you and separates you from friends and family - you're being abused - pray for a way out and get out. Respect yourself and Christ in you enough to not allow others to abuse and belittle you. Don't allow others to take advantage of and mistreat you because of their position and power. 1 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be unequally yoked. God HATES abuse and DOESN'T want you to live in an abusive situation. You ARE NOT your abuser's savior. You can't fix them, change them, or save them. Jesus should be your Lord (there's only 1 God, 1 Lord, 1 Savior), not a man. 1 Corinthians 7:16 says, 'Wife, how can you be sure of converting and saving your husband? Husband, how can you be sure of converting and saving your wife?' DON'T be deceived into thinking you have to stay with your abuser to keep them from suicide, it's not your responsibility. DON'T worry about 'what ifs'. DON'T stay for the children, the abuser will probably abuse them whether you're there or not. Take you and them to a safe house. (SafeHouseCenter.org 24/7 Helpline: (734) 995-5444). Pray and let God do the work.

Our worth is found in God, not in how people treat us. DON'T define yourself by how you are being treated by an abuser. You ARE NOT a punching bag. You ARE a child of the Most High God. You ARE special in God's sight. You ARE valuable. You ARE loved. You ARE accepted.

God has a GOOD plan for our lives. The Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Allow Christ's unfailing love to sustain you. You CAN live without your abuser. You CAN have friends that aren't tied to your abuser. You ARE NOT crazy, stupid, or unwanted. You CAN make it on your own - dependent on GOD. You WILL and DO amount to something. You CAN make good decisions on your own - with God's help. You ARE strong enough - God gives you the strength. God DOES hear your cries for help.

It should also be noted that it's a misdemeanor to know that a crime (like abuse) is being committed and not report it. It's a felony to commit abuse - whether they are your spouse or not. It's a felony to commit rape - whether they are your spouse or not. Be a listening ear to those in crisis situations, they don't need your judgment.

Being abused? GET OUT and call 911 - and DON'T let fear and threats talk you out of pressing charges. We won't think less of you, instead we'll be proud of you. If you're being abused, get out and don't look back.

Prayer: Father, I pray that You stop the cycle of abuse across this land. We curse ungodly soul ties in our lives and pray for deliverance from abuse and help us not to return to toxic relationships once we've been delivered. Help us to treat each other with love and respect. Help those of us being abused to get help. Protect us from further harm, Lord. Heal our hearts, minister to those places where we have withdrawn and retreated to in order to protect ourselves. Love on us. Help us to put down the old ways of thinking and doing and begin to trust You enough to do a new thing in us. We will press through. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 
Helpful Scripture

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] John 16:33
If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31
Greater is Jesus in us than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4God will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to Him. Ps 72:14
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24
NO weapon trying to form against us is gonna prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
JESUS is our Husband; He removes our shame: Is 54 http://bit.ly/gdamZG

Helpful Numbers & Websites

If you have been or are being abused now, GET HELP NOW - call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org) 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Signs of Abusive Men http://eshanya.webs.com/signsofabusivemen.htm
Male Victims of Domestic Abuse http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/malevictims.shtml
Power & Control Tactics Used in Same-Sex Relationships http://bit.ly/l6n4OR
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Safety Plan' http://bit.ly/a3LWvg
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Protecting Your Identity' http://bit.ly/dD6a7h National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Internet Safety' http://bit.ly/aVhr3X

See related post: Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker! http://bit.ly/ihCXye

Do You Hate Yourself?

If we don't forgive - God does this: Matthew 6:14,15 - For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.

If we don't forgive - the enemy does this: 2 Corinthians 2:10,11 - If you forgive someone, I will also forgive them. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we know very well what his plans are.

We are commanded in the Word to love one another, but I ask you, do you love yourself, or do you hate yourself?

When I first got saved, the Lord brought me through deliverance of many things. When He started walking me through forgiveness, I heard a sermon on it. Like I try to do with all sermons, I wanted to apply it to myself. So I asked the Lord who I needed to forgive.

I wasn't expecting the answer I got, 'yourself'. Ok. Had never even heard of that before. So many don't know that we need to forgive ourselves. But as the Holy Spirit started ministering to me, I realized that I hated myself. So how in the world could I forgive myself? I had hated myself so much and what I had become that I didn't even clean the mirrors in my house, for I couldn't stand to look at myself. I sure couldn't look in my eyes, 'cause they are the windows to the soul. And it just wasn't very pretty what I'd see.

After the Lord revealed to me that I needed to forgive myself, I reluctantly chose to, by an act of my free will (not my feelings, because I didn't want to) to forgive myself. The Lord then led me to stand in His Presence for a minute to actually receive that forgiveness. I felt such a weight lift from off my shoulders, I couldn't believe it. Coming to Him and asking for forgiveness set me free. Period.

All these years I've subconsciously been trying to punish myself by hating myself and holding on to the guilt. I was trying to make up for the work that Jesus had already done at the Cross for me. That work was enough, Jesus didn't need my help. Jesus became the guilt offering for me, so I don't have to carry around all that guilt and condemnation for all my sins and wrong choices that I've made in life. Since Jesus did all the work for me at the Cross, who am I to say I can't forgive myself?

The Word actually says that we are loosed to the tormentors when we don't forgive (see Matthew 18:21-35). I've felt that torment and at times through my spritual eyes could see it. It's scary. And the enemy has plans to use us not forgiving ourselves to cause us harm and all sorts of pain and anguish. Some cut themselves. Some commit suicide. Some abuse others. All trying to relieve the feelings of torment from within.

We even wear masks to make us look different to people, thus more acceptable. Sometimes we wear too much makeup, or hang our hair over our eyes, or pretend to be something that we're not, all because we're hoping that people don't see what we believe to be the ugly inside if they could really see us/knew us.

We forgive others every day. Can we not do the same for ourselves? Isn't it time we forgive ourselves, and let ourselves off the hook? For whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!

Prayer: Help us, Lord to see ourselves as You see us. We choose to lay down our anger, bitterness, resentment, self-hatred, guilt, condemnation, and shame for ourselves and wear the robe of righteousness that you have provided for us when we give our life to You. We choose to forgive ourselves. I love You, Lord. And thank You for helping me to be able to face myself, live with myself, and love myself in a healthy way, 'cause it's been a long time coming. For once in my life, I want to live.

Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker!

John 8:36 - If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.






When we become involved with someone, we form ties, called soul ties, with them. A soul tie is a tie or a bond between two people in the realm of the soul, which is the mind, will and emotions. There can be good soul ties - that are healthy, and bad soul ties - which can be very destructive.

We have a soul tie with everyone we've slept with and those in close non-sexual proximity, too.

Godly soul ties are those in which we lift up and encourage each other and not put down, abuse, take advantage of, or control each other. These are healthy relationships.

And then there's the ungodly soul ties. Maybe you got involved with a person that abused you, controlled you, kept you from your family and friends. Or maybe you were molested/raped or had some other type of bad experience with someone.

Maybe you've split up with a person that wasn't abusive, maybe they were good and you messed up. Or you both mutually decided to go your separate ways or divorce. Or maybe they passed away.

If you have ungodly soul ties in your life, you need to break them now. For those who have been raped - the soul ties need to be broken now. For every person you've ever sleep with, if you're not in a godly relationship with them right now, it needs to be broken. No need to hold on to that person or persons any more. It's safe to let them go.

For bad soul ties, if God's delivered you from a relationship with someone, don't lower yourself by driving by their house to see who the new 'miss thang' is in their driveway now. You're not just belittling yourself, you might be keeping soul ties attached that way, that you need to be cutting and leaving severed.

Keep it real ... you'll be fine without that person that hurt you. No need to reminess or hope for the way it used to be. If God's removed someone from your life, let that stale cracker go! Remembering those few little good things about the relationship or feeding thoughts that 'it really wasn't all that bad' or longings for them can open a door the Lord probably wants to remain closed. And it can unintentionally cause you to go running back. Don't do it!

Quit dredging up that old stuff. Step away from that stale cracker. God's got something new for you, but you have to let go of that old thing first. Were they really all that great, anyway? Were they ... not working, unattentive, abusive, rude, demeaning ... PLEASE, PEOPLE ... don't go back to that! Believe better of yourself than that. If you keep going back, you're basically abusing yourself just as much as they were.

Seemingly innocent conversations, sharing intimate vulnerable details and becoming emotionally dependent on a person and always thinking about them and thinking that you can't live without them are all signs that you need to step back and re-evaluate your relationship with that particular person.

Be careful who you hang around and be careful who you share your heart with.

Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Prayer: Father, in the name of Jesus we pray that by way of Your Holy Spirit You bring to our remembrance anyone that we need to break a soul tie with. We call out each name to You, Lord and we break that soul tie with _________ in the name of Jesus. We pray that the tie stays severed and that we don't try to go back to try to reattach them. We believe in You, Lord and trust You and Your judgement as far as who to let into our hearts and lives and who not to. Thank You, Lord for protecting us and keeping us from getting involved to deep with those You don't want us to. In Jesus' name, Amen.