Jun 14, 2014

Childrearing 101 from My Uncle

This blog entry is in honor of my Uncle Ronnie, who was taken from us WAY too soon. His birthday is Saturday and Father’s Day is Sunday, and it’s really had me thinking about the impact his life had on everyone around him and the legacy that he left behind.

Below is some tidbits of his daughter VJ's (my cousin) wisdom she gained from him on childrearing and her thoughts on life and him now.

‘My father gave me this nugget of wisdom when I was the first time Mommie of a two year old toddler. I can hear him plainly as he said, "Baby, it is not your job to be your child's friend right now. It is your job, from here on out to prepare them for life as a respectful and productive member of society. That is what a good parent does. The little things you let slip because they are cute can turn into a bad habit that can last generations. You don't have to be a hard 'person' like me all the time. Have fun with her, teach her to work, get down in the floor and play with her, but always let her know what you expect from her and never let that pretty face or pouty mouth back you up from what you said. Be consistent. Love her. Tell her you will always be there for her. No matter how little they are, you teach by example and communicate just a little above their level. Set bars for her and when she's about able to touch it, move it higher. No one is ever going to love her like you. The world is cold and cruel. Teach her that. Stand your ground with her, no matter how small it may seem. You are teaching her from the minute she's born how to treat you, and others. You are not equals, and she will respect you. You can be friends after she's grown. Now she just needs guidance".

He told me another time that your goal in life is to prepare your children not to depend on you, but to train them to be able to live without you. Although he was never able to teach me to live without him, I’m okay. I miss his influence and friendship every single day I’ve had to live without him, and I still react the way I think would make him proud. Each time I want to pick up the phone and ask him what should I do, I know what he’d tell me if he were at the other end of that phone, and most of the time I do it.’

To my Uncle Ronnie, kudos to you ... Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day!

To my precious father, Mike, whom I have been so richly blessed with ... thank you for all your love, support and prayers. The wisdom that you have imparted to me helps carry me through the 'what do I do now' times that I have, as well. Thank you for who you are, all you do, and for loving and accepting me ... Happy Father's Day!

To all the fathers out there (and those acting in a father capacity) … you have NO idea of the impact that you can have on your children. Teach them well. Love them. Support them. Make every moment count, for every moment is precious. Your influence is wanted and needed. Not meaning to put a lot of pressure on you, but then again I do … step up to that plate and hit the ball out of the park. Your family’s lives in part depend on it.

Father, our ultimate Father, thank You for being a good, loving Daddy to us. Thank You for the time that You have blessed us with our earthly fathers, and though not all have acted in as much an honorable fashion as the man listed in this blog, You always have been and always will be. Bring comfort to and heal those who are without fathers, and to fathers who have lost their children. Take them up and adopt them as Your own. Be a light through all those in fatherly capacities. Be near them on this special weekend. And Father … Happy Father’s Day. In Jesus’ name, amen.