Bad Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do

Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in bondage again to fear; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. Romans 8:14-17

Why do beautiful and precious women think they have to settle for rough, ugly and/or controlling guys that treat them bad? And if they're good looking but treat you bad, that makes them ugly, too. Choosing a bad boy usually comes with a lifetime of regrets. A bad boy and his actions ARE NOT attractive nor exciting. They are destructive. Don't be seduced into the web of the enemy, thinking you have to settle for less than what you want from a partner. Ladies, you're worth SO MUCH MORE than that. RESPECT yourself.

And oh my, PLEASE don't be with a creep just to get out of the house or to punish your parents/family. It’s not worth it to get sucked into a life of hell on earth with the wrong person just to fit in, or get out, or to have a ride, or get back at people. Trust me, you WILL NOT have it easier once you get out. As a matter of fact, it will be harder because you not only have been separated from your family and support system, but are now responsible for running a house, getting and holding a job, and catering to every whim of a man who probably never loved you in the first place and who will treat you horribly despite you doing everything in your power the right way.

There are many men who are on the prowl, looking for a nice, vulnerable woman to take advantage of. They can tell when you are insecure with who you are and who will probably put up with their actions ... one who will do anything for them, despite how they are treated. Someone with low self-esteem is very attractive to them. These guys are usually sweet talkers in the beginning to lure you in and once you’ve formed an attachment to them, usually by sharing intimate things in your life (see more about soul ties here Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker) then they start abusing you, telling you who you can and cannot see and possibly hitting you. They'll flirt with others but tell you that you can't, not call before coming over, lie, hit on your friends in front of you, etc. These are UNACCEPTABLE actions ladies.

You ARE NOT responsible for babysitting men, for being their mother, for being their slave and/or sex slave, or to rescue them from life or themselves. These 'boys' need to grow up and be a man. Learn how to treat a woman right. Learn how to take care of themselves. Learn how to live within the letter of the laws of God and of man. Instead of rebelling against God and running from Him and anything else that's good and right. Bad boys DO NOT really have confidence, and ARE NOT exciting, they are really insecure and that's why they hurry to attach to those who are vulnerable, ones that they hope will fill the void and make them stop being afraid, i.e. another mommy. They only get more angry though, because it doesn't work. Deep down they are broken little boys who need to control and bed women to try to feel better about themselves. That broken boy CAN NOT be rescued or fixed by you. HE WON'T change as long as he's clinging on to you. Only Jesus and hard work on the part of the boy/man can fix them. You ARE NOT anyone's savior. Let them change their own diapers and hold his own pacifier. Try working on yourself instead. A better you will automatically attract a better him.

The better you feel about yourself, the less you will allow people in your life that treat you wrong. Low self-esteem will cause us to settle with far less than God's best. If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate who communicates both verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. She won't allow this other person to undermine her positive self-worth. She believes in her ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship. If she doesn't feel good about herself, she chooses someone who reinforces her negative self-beliefs.

These men are just distractions sent by the enemy to try to keep God’s will from coming to pass in your life. You're not a doormat, punching bag, a dog or a trophy ... if you belong to Jesus, you are a child of God. There's NEVER a good reason to put up with abuse. HIT THE DOOR running if you're not treated with love and respect. REGARDLESS of how good looking or hot he may be in your eyes. Your dreamboat is dangerous. Do it NOW before it goes any further.

God has called us to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15

Hold your head high, guard your heart and wait for GOD'S best for you.

Father, I pray that You place a hedge of protection around us and our hearts, that we not get caught up in the traps of the enemy. Choose a partner for us IF You have one and help us to wait on You. If we are to be single to serve You wholeheartedly, help us to be and stay devoted to You. If there are any that have already been trapped by the enemy's lies and webs, release them from that bondage. Give them boldness to get away and help them to stay away. In the name of Jesus, amen.

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If you are being abused GET HELP NOW call

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE

http://www.thehotline.org
or
National Dating Abuse Hotline
1-866-331-9474
http://www.loveisrespect.org
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see also:  Keep it Zipped            Do You Hate Yourself?            Don't Look Back (my story)

God HATES Abuse - So Stop Being a Martyr & Let Go

For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. Malachi 2:16
Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Colossians 3:19




You've probably heard more times than you've wanted to that God hates divorce. But did you know that God ALSO hates abuse? Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) and we are to take care of and protect them. The Word also says to guard our heart with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23).

The Lord has delivered me from many abusive relationships, including the last one which was a verbal, mental, emotional, physical & sexual abusive relationship that lasted 10 yrs. - He can do it for you, too. I always felt like when I had chairs or knives or fists or hateful words thrown at me that when I called on Jesus He heard me but didn't do anything - but He did - I'm still here. The enemy and all my abusers have lost their power over me because of Christ's love for me and His Blood that covers me. If you're still around, you're a fighter and a survivor, too.

We are to be controlled and led by the Holy Spirit, not man. We should never submit to man to the point of sin (whether or not they are our husband, parent, or leader). It's better to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). Sad to say, so often out of fear or people pleasing (not wanting to offend), we obey man. Be obedient to the voice of the Lord and instead of being afraid of repercussions or retaliation, trust God for the outcome. Go to God for wisdom and the final say so regarding your relationships - not your friends. Friends can listen, support and advise but don't know what's best for you - only God does.

Without a radical moving and healing from God, an abuser will NEVER EVER change - even if they cry, beg or give gifts - DON'T fall for the lies. Men who abuse women are so chicken and so weak and what happened in their past is NO excuse or reason to do it. They think it makes them feel like a man and they need a mother figure to slave for them that they can control. They also want to have their own personal 'sex slave'. Abusers gain control through brainwashing and fear tactics (like I'll kill you or your family, you can't make it without me, nobody else would want you, or you don't have any money). That and the involvement of children is why some choose to stay anyway.

If someone yells at you, controls you, hits you and separates you from friends and family - you're being abused - pray for a way out and get out. Respect yourself and Christ in you enough to not allow others to abuse and belittle you. Don't allow others to take advantage of and mistreat you because of their position and power. 1 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be unequally yoked. God HATES abuse and DOESN'T want you to live in an abusive situation. You ARE NOT your abuser's savior. You can't fix them, change them, or save them. Jesus should be your Lord (there's only 1 God, 1 Lord, 1 Savior), not a man. 1 Corinthians 7:16 says, 'Wife, how can you be sure of converting and saving your husband? Husband, how can you be sure of converting and saving your wife?' DON'T be deceived into thinking you have to stay with your abuser to keep them from suicide, it's not your responsibility. DON'T worry about 'what ifs'. DON'T stay for the children, the abuser will probably abuse them whether you're there or not. Take you and them to a safe house. (SafeHouseCenter.org 24/7 Helpline: (734) 995-5444). Pray and let God do the work.

Our worth is found in God, not in how people treat us. DON'T define yourself by how you are being treated by an abuser. You ARE NOT a punching bag. You ARE a child of the Most High God. You ARE special in God's sight. You ARE valuable. You ARE loved. You ARE accepted.

God has a GOOD plan for our lives. The Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Allow Christ's unfailing love to sustain you. You CAN live without your abuser. You CAN have friends that aren't tied to your abuser. You ARE NOT crazy, stupid, or unwanted. You CAN make it on your own - dependent on GOD. You WILL and DO amount to something. You CAN make good decisions on your own - with God's help. You ARE strong enough - God gives you the strength. God DOES hear your cries for help.

It should also be noted that it's a misdemeanor to know that a crime (like abuse) is being committed and not report it. It's a felony to commit abuse - whether they are your spouse or not. It's a felony to commit rape - whether they are your spouse or not. Be a listening ear to those in crisis situations, they don't need your judgment.

Being abused? GET OUT and call 911 - and DON'T let fear and threats talk you out of pressing charges. We won't think less of you, instead we'll be proud of you. If you're being abused, get out and don't look back.

Prayer: Father, I pray that You stop the cycle of abuse across this land. We curse ungodly soul ties in our lives and pray for deliverance from abuse and help us not to return to toxic relationships once we've been delivered. Help us to treat each other with love and respect. Help those of us being abused to get help. Protect us from further harm, Lord. Heal our hearts, minister to those places where we have withdrawn and retreated to in order to protect ourselves. Love on us. Help us to put down the old ways of thinking and doing and begin to trust You enough to do a new thing in us. We will press through. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 
Helpful Scripture

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] John 16:33
If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31
Greater is Jesus in us than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4God will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to Him. Ps 72:14
When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24
NO weapon trying to form against us is gonna prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
JESUS is our Husband; He removes our shame: Is 54 http://bit.ly/gdamZG

Helpful Numbers & Websites

If you have been or are being abused now, GET HELP NOW - call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org) 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Signs of Abusive Men http://eshanya.webs.com/signsofabusivemen.htm
Male Victims of Domestic Abuse http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/malevictims.shtml
Power & Control Tactics Used in Same-Sex Relationships http://bit.ly/l6n4OR
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Safety Plan' http://bit.ly/a3LWvg
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Protecting Your Identity' http://bit.ly/dD6a7h National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - 'Internet Safety' http://bit.ly/aVhr3X

See related post: Step Away ... from that Stale Cracker! http://bit.ly/ihCXye