Stop Tryin' to Change the Ppl You Love

 

 

 

God is at work within you, helping you want to obey Him, and then helping you do what He wants. Philippians 2:13

Stop trying to change the people you love and change yourself. Stop trying to change people who would take your money but won't take your advice. You will only drain your own mental, spiritual, emotional and financial reserves.

 

The truth is ... people change when they are sick and tired of being sick and tired or hit rock bottom. If you're dealing with addiction or irresponsible behavior from grown adults ... protect your wallet and your mind. It doesn't mean you don't love them. Your attempts to help may only delay what is inevitable.

 

Allow them to take the journey they have chosen for themselves. Pray for them, fervently. Choose to let go of the guilt and be at peace. You may require counseling or emotional support to stop being an enabler. If necessary, give yourself some distance so that you can stop being used or manipulated because they know that you care and you love them.

 

You have the right to enjoy a guilt-free, happy and productive life. Commit yourself to changing the only person you really can - YOU.

 

Father, bring our loved ones to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Deliver them from anything (or anyone) that has them bound. You're the One that does the work, in cooperation with the person. Not us. Show us our part and help us to not get in Your way as You do Your part. Mend our relationships with them. Love on them. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

 

 

 see also:  Believing for a Loved One  and  Hands Off



 

Childrearing 101 from My Uncle

This blog entry is in honor of my Uncle Ronnie, who was taken from us WAY too soon. His birthday is Saturday and Father’s Day is Sunday, and it’s really had me thinking about the impact his life had on everyone around him and the legacy that he left behind.

Below is some tidbits of his daughter VJ's (my cousin) wisdom she gained from him on childrearing and her thoughts on life and him now.

‘My father gave me this nugget of wisdom when I was the first time Mommie of a two year old toddler. I can hear him plainly as he said, "Baby, it is not your job to be your child's friend right now. It is your job, from here on out to prepare them for life as a respectful and productive member of society. That is what a good parent does. The little things you let slip because they are cute can turn into a bad habit that can last generations. You don't have to be a hard 'person' like me all the time. Have fun with her, teach her to work, get down in the floor and play with her, but always let her know what you expect from her and never let that pretty face or pouty mouth back you up from what you said. Be consistent. Love her. Tell her you will always be there for her. No matter how little they are, you teach by example and communicate just a little above their level. Set bars for her and when she's about able to touch it, move it higher. No one is ever going to love her like you. The world is cold and cruel. Teach her that. Stand your ground with her, no matter how small it may seem. You are teaching her from the minute she's born how to treat you, and others. You are not equals, and she will respect you. You can be friends after she's grown. Now she just needs guidance".

He told me another time that your goal in life is to prepare your children not to depend on you, but to train them to be able to live without you. Although he was never able to teach me to live without him, I’m okay. I miss his influence and friendship every single day I’ve had to live without him, and I still react the way I think would make him proud. Each time I want to pick up the phone and ask him what should I do, I know what he’d tell me if he were at the other end of that phone, and most of the time I do it.’

To my Uncle Ronnie, kudos to you ... Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day!

To my precious father, Mike, whom I have been so richly blessed with ... thank you for all your love, support and prayers. The wisdom that you have imparted to me helps carry me through the 'what do I do now' times that I have, as well. Thank you for who you are, all you do, and for loving and accepting me ... Happy Father's Day!

To all the fathers out there (and those acting in a father capacity) … you have NO idea of the impact that you can have on your children. Teach them well. Love them. Support them. Make every moment count, for every moment is precious. Your influence is wanted and needed. Not meaning to put a lot of pressure on you, but then again I do … step up to that plate and hit the ball out of the park. Your family’s lives in part depend on it.

Father, our ultimate Father, thank You for being a good, loving Daddy to us. Thank You for the time that You have blessed us with our earthly fathers, and though not all have acted in as much an honorable fashion as the man listed in this blog, You always have been and always will be. Bring comfort to and heal those who are without fathers, and to fathers who have lost their children. Take them up and adopt them as Your own. Be a light through all those in fatherly capacities. Be near them on this special weekend. And Father … Happy Father’s Day. In Jesus’ name, amen.

YES, THIS IS FOR YOU

Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I WILL NOT forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me. Isaiah 49:15,16

Your family and friends may have forgotten about you, BUT GOD hasn't ... His silence does not mean absence.

You’ve always been right there for me; don’t turn your back on me now. Don’t throw me out, don’t abandon me; you’ve always kept the door open. My father and mother walked out and left me, but God took me in (and adopted me as His child). Psalm 27:9,10

What you do/don't do, who approves/disapproves of you, what 'they' think/say about you, whether 'they' thank/appreciate you or how 'they' treat you DOES NOT define you ... you ARE loved, you ARE wanted, you DO matter and you ARE special because of who you are, the best you that you can be.

You ARE NOT just taking up space ... you ARE here for a reason and you ARE a blessing to MANY. Enjoy your life as you learn why through trial and error. Take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the journey.

Father, thank You that despite hurtful rejections from our family, our friends, and the world, You take us up and adopt us as Your own and take care of us. Bring healing to our hurting hearts. Help us to forgive. May the things that life and people have inflicted on us not break us or stop us from the good plans that You have for us. Thank You that we are accepted by You and included in Your family. In Jesus' name, amen.





See related blog of mine:
We're His Kids
DON'T Self-Harm Because of a Relationship
Sister Christian
Encourage Yourself in the Lord
Hands Off

Hands Off

Confess: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

Pray against: Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. You will be hated by everyone because of Me. Matthew 10:21,22





Don’t give up on the people you love. Circumstances make it seem hopeless sometimes, but that's just the enemy working through your loved ones, it's not them. Sad to say, those who are closest to us are usually the ones who wind us hurting us the most ... they think we'll be there no matter what.

If you have people in your life that don't know the Lord or that treat you and/or those around you bad, don't argue and fight with them. That's just what the enemy wants. Instead, pray for them because those who mistreat are usually hurting. Pray that the Lord shows you their heart and gives you insight to know how to pray and that He brings healing to them. Choose to forgive them (whether you feel like it or not) and let the Lord deal with them. He can do a lot of work when we take our hands off people and let God have them.

Your patient love and faithfulness may be exactly what they need to make a complete turnaround. Don't you go giving up on them or on God's power and ability to change them. It doesn't matter how much hate is in a person, or what they may be struggling with ... He can do ALL things, nothing's impossible with Him.

NO ONE is too far gone or beyond the reach of a loving Father's touch.

Father, help us to be a loving witness and example that leads others to Your grace and mercy, which will bring change for the better. Help us all to be able to get along and treat each other with respect. Give us hearts to love and forgive. Devil ... get your grubby paws off our family, friends and relationships, 'cause you CAN'T have 'em ... I curse you and command you and your attacks to go back to hell where you came from. In Jesus' name, amen.




see also: Believing for a Loved One?